Perfection, or Lack Thereof
Being a parent, whether a mother or father, is a very high calling
in life. Fathers want their boys to grow up in a way that will make them proud. Mothers want the
same with their daugthers. And of course, both parents want this of all their children.
When I bring it forward in saying a father wants to be proud of his boys, and a
mother wants to be proud of her girls, what I am trying to say is that there is a certain feeling that a parent gets
when they can see their teaching instilled in their children. If a girl is a wonderful cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
and can sew the most beautiful outfits, those are usually areas that a mother had a part in-she helped teach her daughter
those skills.
If a boy keeps a perfectly landscaped lawn,
knows how to rebuild an engine, and knows how to work hard and work for a goal, these are areas that a father probably had
a lot to do with.
And yes, I realize that fathers
can teach their daughters to cook, and moms can teach their sons about hard work, but I'm just mentioning these things for
an example to lay a foundation for my point.
Something we need to remember while we are training our children and
teaching them how to cook, clean, change the oil in the car, paint the garage doors, etc., is that they are learning.
This is most likely going to take time.
It
is unfair to expect a child to do things perfectly the first time they try. When you pick up an instrument for the first
time, or you lay your fingers across the keys of a piano as a beginner, you are not going to play a masterpiece. You
will have to be taught over and over again how to play a scale, and the more you practice, the better you will get.
It's good to expect your child to do his or her best, but
don't expect them to do your best in the beginning. Have patience, and guide them-no need
to scream and let them know how wrong they are doing things when they are really trying. What
does that accomplish anyway? For some children, what it accomplishes is an adult who feels that they can't do anything
because they were always told how they did it wrong as a child.
Your
child is more likely to catch on easier when they are not a bundle of nerves, wondering when Mom is going to scream next because
the task was not done to perfection. And keep in mind that when you expect them to perform more perfectly than even
you can perform, or could have performed at their age, they are going to dread the times you want to teach them new things.
If you try to make cooking and vaccuuming and painting enjoyable, it helps both of you.
Something very important to remember~Children are NOT miniature adults! Find the balance for your child, and
praise them for doing a good job when they've really tried.
Learn to laugh at some mistakes, or at least take things in stride. Years ago my famiy was in the
grocery store, and I looked down one aisle to see a whole gallon of milk dropped, with the broken plastic container spilled
all over the floor. I KNEW it was my clumsy little girl that had dropped it--I had delegated her to get the milk,
and even tho she wasn't standing in that aisle anymore, I knew. I also picked up my pace to search the aisles to find
her because I knew she would be very upset. Sure enough, when I found her, she was wiping the tears off of her face.
I didn't scream and yell, I repeatedly let her know that it was ok, it was not a big deal. Just before our own
little incident, I saw a young boy drop a pop that broke open. The store clerk also spoke very kindly, let
him know it was ok, to get another one, and they'd call for clean-up. We might not have laughed at that, but we didn't let
it ruin our day, or my daughter's day either. We've laughed at goofed dessert recipes(HOW MUCH salt did you
say you put in those no bakes???) and other things, but hey, at least she's trying!
Your entire family will be happier if you learn to expect their best, but
not to expect perfection.
Ladies, this includes husbands
as well! If my husband wants to help me, and he puts away the clean dishes, guess what I do if he puts them away
in the wrong place? I move them to their proper places without telling him!
Unless it's something we use often, and he really should know, why bother when he made the effort to help me?
If he sweeps the floor and misses a spot, big deal! I don't need to sweep the floor today! Thankfully my husband
doesn't expect perfection from me either--oh boy, we'd be in trouble....
