A few years back, we made plans to celebrate Christmas a few days
early with our children-it was going to be a wonderful and fun day! Dan would be heading to Playthings Etc. with Dakota-one of the coolest toy stores in the world! The girls
and I were going to the Grove City Outlets-a place my oldest daughter had wanted to go for a long time. We would
meet back home later that evening. Elissa volunteers at the school, so she was with Amber and Dakota, enjoying the last
day of school before Christmas vacation. A nice little party sent them on their way to enjoying many days of vacation!
Unfortunately,
the weather was rather severe, with sleet coming down, and the red warning level at weather.com let us know that it might not be a good idea to go. We hated to
change plans, but thought we may have to, since the roads could be treacherous. We still decided to get ready, in case
the weather turned favorably.
I got in the shower, and was minding my own business, and I CANNOT believe what
happened!!! My wonderful husband of many years DROPPED TWO HANDFULS OF SLEET ON ME OVER THE TOP OF THE SHOWER DOORS!!!!!
I screamed!!! I was in shock!!!
How
could he do this to me??? The man I would NEVER think of doing something so cruel to, did this to me!!! I thought
he vowed to love, honor and cherish me!!!
Maybe he did this because when I remind him that he said "I do", he always
claims, "I didn't say "I do", I said "I'm a dude!""
I had to plot
my revenge! I considered putting ice cubes in his side of the bed, but reconsidered when I remembered that we have an
electric heating pad under our sheet. How would that sound..."Honest, officer!!! It was just a joke!!!"
So
what could I do? What could I do?.....
Then I decided. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to show the
entire world one my husband's redneck moments. Let me share the story in a nutshell...
After
working several hours on our riding lawnmower that was broken, Dan was tired and exhausted from his efforts because they did
not work. Even tho he is a very mellow man, he became a bit agitated. The lawnmower was still broke, and he wished
the kids would have chipped in and mowed with the push mower. This may appear as a joke, but I assure you, it is NOT!
I looked out the window to see my husband and daughter. My daughter was riding the four-wheeler in the yard, with
Dan sitting on the front rack, pushing our PUSH-MOWER!!! Needless to say, I had to run and get the camera! I had
no intentions of using this for revenge, but it is all too sweet, and I must!
This, my friends, is what we call a REDNECK RIDING LAWNMOWER!!!
