I don't know if this is considered an area that people struggle with, or if we just plain give in to it-negative uses of our mouths. This would include gossip, insults, murmuring, complaining, and those un-truths we like to think of as not so bad--in other words, lying.

Gossip. The only gossip that should come out of our mouths should be happy gossip, such as who is getting married! You would think as grown women, we would know by now that the gossipers we share with are undoubtedly gossiping about us as well! Not to mention who we are gossiping about!

When a situation comes up that is not good, sometimes it is neccessary to tell someone, such as if someone is abusing drugs, or a teenager is sneaking out at night, and you know about these things, for instance. That is when you talk to someone who can help the situation-not someone who can do nothing about it other than help spread the information a little further.

Sometimes when you see the negative in your own life, it is okay to talk about your problems with a friend. But none of us want to be picked apart during a lady's get together, and it isn't fair to do this to others-especially if you call the others "friends".

Insults. When did we become so comfortable speaking our minds so plainly? Boundaries should apply to every conversation! This includes siblings, parents, other family members, best friends, enemies, cashiers at the local grocery store, and everyone else. I think it is especially important to emphasize one person a lot of us have--our spouses.

We need to weigh our words! We don't need to empty our brain under the claim of "just being honest". We are really just being foolish. Sometimes constructive criticism may be needed, but it need not be harsh, or just because it popped into our head. Soft speech and discreetness are key when necessary.

Murmuring, complaining. This is ever so common, and ever so unattractive.

We need to ask ourselves--do we really have it that bad? Are our lives so terrible that we have nothing positive to dwell on?

It would do us well to ask ourselves these questions regularly:

Do I have food in my cupboard?

Am I in danger of being bombed when I walk outside my front door every day?

Do I have a roof over my head?

Do I have family and friends that love me?

We all go through discouraging times, and sometimes it does us well to have a good cry with a girlfriend or our spouse. But when we make complaining a part of our regular conversation, we end up carrying the load of bitterness too, without ever meaning to pick that up.

One of the only exceptions that come to mind is the person who is dealing with bodily injuries that become a part of everyday life. Usually these people are not complaining all the time anyway, but when they do, they have legitimate reasons for feeling discouraged and frustrated. People don't fully understand what a person goes through when they have a serious injury--they can't just "make yourself do it", when they can't get to physical therapy, or can't mow the lawn or clean their homes.

Since I am married to a man who has suffered very serious injuries, and am friends with a woman who had to retire 20 years early due to serious injury, I have seen it close up. I am not heartless to those who suffer and it seems to help when they can just talk about it, and need to be encouraged.

But what about the majority of the rest of us? Why is it hard for us to find the positive, when we have good health, friends, family, and food on the table? Shouldn't we all make more effort to be thankful for the things we do have?

Lying. We can call it what we want, but a fib, a half-truth, and a little white lie are all the same thing-lies.

Don't we all hate being lied to, only to find out the truth by someone else?

Even if the truth is something that hurts, it is better than lying. I don't mean that we need to tell someone how ugly their new hairstyle is--that falls under "insults". But I do believe it is best to softly share the truth-even when it's uncomfortable for us--if we accidentally broke something belonging to someone else, or didn't show up for the family reunion, and had no good reason.

How do you measure up? Do you use your words wisely-using your mouth as a positive tool, instead of a destructive one?