You can probably run the scenario over in your mind, and shake your head in agreement that you have "been there, done that".

You get a phone call from an old friend who moved away five months ago. She happens to be in town, and wonders if she can stop by in about half an hour. You are mortified at the thought, looking from room to room of your home, noticing the hundreds of things you will need to do before she arrives. You mention in exasperation that your house is a mess, and you would be so embarrassed for her to see it, but she responds by telling you, "I'm coming over to see you, not your house!". You promise yourself that this scenario is never going to happen again, and while your friend visits you that day, telling you about her move to a new city, you are distracted and are only enjoying yourself slightly, because the dust and sinkful of dishes are heavy on your mind.

So when is your home good enough to visit?

All too often, we aim at perfection when having house guests. Therefore, all too often, we don't enjoy ourselves because we never hit perfection. Is there really a happy medium? Is there really a time when your home won't be perfectly spotless, but you can enjoy your visits with friends and family anyway?

Let me give you some input and some breathing room. If you let these basic thoughts sink in and allow yourself to really believe them, you will be able to enjoy company much more, and will have no need to spend two weeks cleaning and planning before they come.

Don't expect complete perfection, especially if you do not live alone. Your aging mother, your spouse, children, roommate, or another person you share your home with will not always see cleanliness the way you do. You may live with people who do not share your love of detailed and immaculate cleaning habits. If this is the case, you need to aim for balance, and what can be good enough, if you don't have the time to do it all yourself.

The shame in a home often comes from unfinished projects, or broken fixtures and things that should already be fixed. Half painted rooms, broken cupboard hinges, clogged toilets and broken windows that have needed attention for weeks or months, are more noticable, and more in need of immediate attention than a couple of dirty glasses in the sink, a surface that hasn't been dusted yet this week, or a jacket that wasn't hung up. It isn't small things that give your home the lived-in look that show your home is not very important to you--it is the big, unfinished projects that are never attended to. And I'm sure you will understand that I am not referring to those who are not financially or physically able to take care of these needs for a time. I'm speaking generally, and about those who are able to do something about it.

Don't avoid company if you don't have new furnishings, or the best of everything. If your home is in tact, and your structure is solid, with your rooms completed(finished painted walls, clear sinks and toilets, doors and cupboards that function properly), your home is fine for guests. Everyone is in a different place in life-some people are well off financially, some are poor, some are newlyweds that are just starting out, and some are famliies with small children and the daddy is working two jobs to keep food on the table. There is no shame in not having the biggest and the best. Taking care of what you have is more important.

Where is the balance in a clean home? Ask yourself these questions:

*Do I dust and vaccuum every week or so, as to keep down pet dander and dust, which may affect my guests allergies? And do I vaccuum the furniture(if I have pets), so that my guests are not covered in pet hair when they leave? If I am a smoker, do I clean my ashtrays and ashes up, and air things out occasionally, windexing mirrors and windows, and dusting every so often to lesson the smoke smell? (You may find it offensive that your guests may not appreciate your choice to smoke, but the truth of the matter is, there are many of us who have breathing problems and allergies that cause us physical reactions, and it makes it hard for us to visit when we know we will be sick before the end of the night. It really has nothing to do with your choice to smoke.)

*Are there places to sit in different rooms of my house? Are there cleared, flat surfaces to set drinks and snacks on?

*Can my guests come into my home without tripping over multiple pairs of shoes left in the middle of the floor in the doorway?

*Is my trash, litter box, and refrigerator changed/cleaned often enough that my home does not smell bad? Are my bathrooms non-offensive?

*Are dirty dishes confined to a small section of my countertop in the kitchen, or in the dishwasher or sink, or are they scattered throughout the house, some having been there for several days?

*Is my laundry confined to baskets, or is it strewn on several flat surfaces of the house, and dirty clothes stacked in several piles in different rooms?

*Do I regularly throw away scrap papers and wrappers, old newspapers and magazines, empty drive-thru food containers, pop cans and such?

As you can see, there is a difference in a lived-in home, and a home that you, along with your guests, will not get the full enjoyment of a visit out of.

Be honest with yourself and see where you fit in. If you are one of the people that really do have cleaning issues that block out the outside world, make the effort to change, get help, or learn to take care of your home. But my guess is that many people have a home comfortable enough to have a wonderful visit in, but are just too worried about perfection when guests stop by.

If you wait until things are perfect, you will find that you never, or almost never, have company, and when you do, you will not enjoy it as much as you could have. Take inventory, and find the balance for you, where good enough, is good enough.